The Psychology Behind Writing - Guest Article

Photo by Jan Kahánek on Unsplash

Selling a book is the end goal for most writers. We get caught up in the fantasy of what the title, “published author,” will bring. I did. For many years, I watched Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City while eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s on the floor of my California apartment. The truth was that freelance writing is a dream-made reality, but it’s also a lot of hard work, filled with self-doubt, challenging people, and oh yeah, not much money.

This is why when I began writing fiction, I was already inducted into the world of self-criticism and fear. I’d never thought of myself as a good storyteller. An English teacher actually called me, “a bad writer,” and a co-worker said, “Why do you think you can write when my friend is way more talented than you?”

REASONS WHY YOU’RE STUCK NO.1

Writing fiction, it turns out, was even more anxiety-producing than nonfiction. Unable to hide behind facts and interviews, I had to use my imagination. This led to many hours of subconscious writing or writing in fear, hiding behind words, and writing without awareness. These are ways of coping when writing creates anxiety. When we’re in fight or flight mode, our survival brain is on. Creative thinking isn’t possible when our body believes we need to attack or escape from danger. Many writers I work with get stuck because they are trying to write in survival mode. As a counseling psychology graduate, I counseled middle school kids, college students, and older adults on similar issues of fear and anxiety that I was seeing with my coaching clients.

It's not that we were incapable of finishing a manuscript. Sometimes we didn’t practice enough or need more education to fill in the gaps. I got a BA in English, but still needed online courses, books, and critique groups to make me a better writer just like I needed to do when I first became a freelancer. In my writing group, I saw some people getting stuck in this first stage. Never writing because they didn’t think they were good enough. 

REASONS WHY YOU’RE STUCK NO.2

Then there were others who were stuck because they weren’t passionate enough about their story. I once had an initial session with a woman who wanted to write a memoir, but her, “why,” wasn’t strong enough. To work on something for years, you need a reason beyond being famous to get through the challenging times that inevitably come with writing. As author Elizabeth Gilbert says in her book Big Magic, “The question is ‘What are you passionate enough about that you can endure the most disagreeable aspects of the work?’”

REASONS WHY YOU’RE STUCK NO. 3

For most writers who want to be published authors, the real tragedy is they quit when the going gets tough. They don’t realize that what’s keeping them from writing isn’t their ability, it’s their insecurity. Many of us are walking around every day, unaware that we have this huge inner critic finding fault in who we are, what we say, and how we write. 

HOW TO GET UNSTUCK

One trick that even surprised me was a writing prompt I learned from Writing Down the Bones author Natalie Goldberg. In her online course, she says, “OK, monkey mind, let it rip. What do you think, feel, and see?” The venom that poured on that page was shocking. Goldberg herself said her inner critic calls her stupid and says, “I hate you.” Imagine trying to write through that negativity. Allowing your inner critic to have its say is one way to lessen its hold on you. Hiring a coach is another. Having anyone around you who is supportive, positive, and encouraging is key. 

I tell you this not because I’ve worked with writers who finally finished a book or pursued their dream. I tell you this because it took me a decade to sell my book to a publisher. In the process, I learned that to be a better writer, I had to work on my craft and myself. 

Brandi-Ann Uyemura is a mom writer who lives in her hometown of Oahu, Hawaii. She is currently working on children’s fiction and coaching creatives online to find and pursue their calling. You can see what she is up to on Instagram, read her blog at TheInspiringBee.com, or connect with her at [email protected].
Brandi-Ann Uyemura is a mom writer who lives in her hometown of Oahu, Hawaii. She is currently working on children’s fiction and coaching creatives online to find and pursue their calling. You can see what she is up to on Instagram, read her blog at TheInspiringBee.com, or connect with her at [email protected].